Tuesday, May 6, 2008

K Hates When NO ONE WRITES NEW STUFF ON THE BLOG!

Ok listen up people, the point of a blog is to write stuff. If I wanted to continuously look at something crusty and unchanging, I'd go to a museum or look at Ice Cold's backhair. This is a blog! A web log! A journal of some type... right? No one likes a journal/web log/blog without any entries. When I steal a look in my girlfriend's journal tonight after she goes to sleep, if there's not a new entry, I'm going to be pissed!

Let's think about everything that's been going on since April 18, when Ace made a lame-ass attempt to talk about motivational speakers. Jeremiah Wright became the most notorious minister since the Archbishop of Boston, the NBA playoffs rule, baseball has gotten going, and Hillary Clinton put money on the only female horse in the Kentucky Derby who decided to crap out and die.

Seriously, there's gotta be something you can all write about, right? Dees, write about how high school girls just don't listen to you - it's been a problem for you since 1997! Candice, I don't even know where the hell you've been. Are you burnt out from travelling all across the world too much? Your fucking elevator all of a sudden stopped transporting fatties one flight of stairs? Anna, how about you, what is your excuse? Your car is all of a sudden just fine? Your office doesn't have any more pervasive smells? DAMNIT FOLKS, THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME ANGER LEFT IN YOU! I know it's springtime, season of love, season of the birds and the bees, season of college ultimate, but come on, give me some vitriol. I need it. Please.

Cy, my dear friend, you are the most disappointing. Think about all we ever talk about when we're playing ultimate, or watching the NBA, or making fun of Mike D. You are such an untapped resource of pseudo-hatred, it just kills me to see you silent like this. This blog NEEDS you, Cyatollah. This blog IS YOU.

Anyways, I hate the fact that no one writes shit on here anymore. Just because it's nice out doesn't mean you can't take fifteen minutes to vent your shit on a blog that gets about 15 reads a week. Seriously, you can say whatever you want because NO ONE READS THIS.


Maybe this guy is right. Maybe you all are just full of shit. But the fact that we know how to use a computer means that we can write and publish whatever we want. Give me something, at least something about Buzz Bissinger...

Love,
K

6 comments:

Candice said...

I blame Cy too. But really, I agree that something needs to be done. There are plenty more things I hate in this world...

Cy said...

I don't know man, I've been really happy lately. If I'm going to write about something that I really hate right now, I might have to get political, which I've tried very hard to avoid doing.

Candice said...

It's probably because you haven't been hanging around me lately. I tend to bring out the best in you.

Dees said...

i guess i've been kinda happy too. i've successfully quit sports gambling and the girls of the Hills are satisfying my desires each Monday night...

Cy said...

Candice, I think my problem is I haven't seen you in weeks. You're like my rage muse.

Candice said...

I'll do better to make you more angry in the future.