Monday, March 31, 2008

K Hates Psycho-T Baggers

Full Disclosure: I am a fan of Northwestern, probably the worst Division 1 basketball team ever. I have cheered way too hard for the likes of Davor Duvancic, Vedran Vukusic, and Timmy Doyle. I don’t like Carolina, I don’t like Duke; I don’t really prefer one over the other. If I had to choose, I’d pick Wake Forest. I appreciate good basketball, and good basketball players. That Davidson-Kansas game was great to watch, until the last possession.

Hey Davidson! If I’m really going to “Witness” anything, it should not be Stephen Curry shriveling up and passing the ball with a second to go on the biggest possession of his life. Nor should it be your go-to-guy not having the cajones to take it to the hole, but instead jacking up contested fade-away threes the entire second half. I love the way you played the first three rounds and you made me a believer, but that second half Sunday night was killer. But enough about teams that aren’t in the tourney anymore, let’s get to my thoughts…

Ok, so Tyler Hansbrough is pretty good. He’s the best player on the best college basketball team in the country. He’s the next great white hope, following in the footsteps of Christian Laettner, Eric Montross, Cherokee Parks, and Mark Madsen. He’s a college basketball player who “tries really hard,” has a “motor that never stops running,” and “always hustles.” He’s an All-American, player of the year caliber player, one of the best in the country this year. But he’s not the greatest college basketball player since Lew Alcindor, and all the talking heads out there should really shut the hell up about him.

People, get off his nuts! He’s the best player IN COLLEGE.

THIS.

YEAR.

Maybe…

You’re telling me that if Michael Beasley was at UNC, he wouldn’t be as good as Hansbrough? If Tyrus Thomas had stayed at LSU for a few more years (and this Bulls fan thinks maybe he should’ve), would he not eat Psycho T’s lunch? Tyrus Thomas is a stretch, but…

The only reason Tyler Hansbrough is getting the press that he’s getting this year is because he decided to stay in school. Why did he stay in school? Because HE’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY IN THE NBA!!!

“But he should be commended for getting an education,” you may say. Here’s a lesson from Economics 101. If someone offers you an eight-figure rookie contract GUARANTEED, you should take it.

Let’s look at the NBA, where real men play basketball. Let’s not even go that far. Look at the top ten picks in last year’s NBA Draft. Besides Yao Jr., every other player was an early entry candidate, and every other player would have been better than Hansbrough had they stayed around. Hell, if Brandan Wright had decided to come back, Psycho T would be have the ACC Sixth Man Award on lock! Seriously though, if one of the nine had decided to come back, Tyler Hansbrough goes from the Brett Favre of college basketball to Matt Schaub. Don’t believe me? Let’s see the names…

Greg Oden

Kevin Durant

Mike Conley

Al Horford

Jeff Green

Corey Brewer

Brandan Wright

Joakim Noah

Spencer Hawes

You know what sucks? If Hawes had stuck around, Hansbrough wouldn’t even be the best slow white guy! Regardless, it is what it is, and this is the NCAA this year. UNC is in the Final Four, Hansbrough is the POTY.

But he’s not the GOAT. He’s not NBA ready, nor will he ever be. You can have your SI Player of the Year, you can have your 23 and 12 every night. You can have your Carolina blue, your Tobacco Road, your Dean Dome. Enjoy “The Bro” mania while you can, because when he’s matching up against David West/Tyson Chandler and Tim Duncan on back to back nights, your All-American great white hope is going to taste it like he dropped the soap at Statesville.

11 comments:

Cy said...

Here's how Psycho-T (WORST! NICKNAME! EVER!) sounds during interviews: "Gee-whiz, aw-shucks. We're just happy to be here." Yeah, well, I hope you're half as happy to be the 7th man on the Memphis Grizzlies next year.

Dave said...

Even among the UNC fans with whom I associate, a popular drinking game is to chug whenever an announcer says "Hansbrough."

Most recent way for Duke fans to make fun of him (after crying that he has just torched them for 3 straight UNC wins in Cameron): "Hansbrough never blinks!" He's the male Rachel Nichols.

He can't be the *only* basketball player who "never takes a play off." (He does play this way, not arguing that.) But the attention he gets for doing so borders on ludicrous.

Jeff said...

I really get annoyed when people criticize Davidson for changing their style or say that Curry should have gone to the hole. Davidson was trying to do the exact same thing as they had done in the first 3 games, but Kansas's depth and defensive prowess prevented that. Do you think the length of Rush, Collins, etc. forced Curry to drop back and take fade aways? I sure think so.

Yeah, it would have been great if Richards had penetrated to the hole and kicked it out to a wide-open Curry for 3; but after watching the first 39:44 of that game, do you honestly believe that would (or could) have happened? I think not.

Cy said...

I agree with that assessment for the most part; I would have gone for a three too. I just think it was a little foolish to give the ball to Curry 80 feet away from the basket. As a D1 coach, you should be able to come up with something a little more creative than that. Who knows though. Richards could have been stripped at half-court and Kansas could have had an uncontested dunk to seal it.

Mikey K said...

Jeff, Davidson DID change their style on the last play. previously richards had brought the ball up, and passed to either Curry coming off a screen or Bryant "The White Lobster" Barr who was wide open. Curry never really broke anyone down like he tried to do on the last play.

sure they were trying to do the exact same thing they did all game (A Curry 3) but they did it differently, to a poor result.

Megan Sweas said...

So yeah he's hyped up by everyone, but at least he's likely to leave college with a degree and the ability to do something other than basketball. I hate seeing that the graduation rates of the players on the Final Four teams are:

UNC: 86%
Kansas: 45%
Memphis: 40%
UCLA: 40%

More kids should have Hansbrough as a role model than Oden, et al. I hate that we deceive high school kids with the idea that basketball is the answer rather than just a means to get an education.

Read The Last Shot by Darcy Frey. It's a few years old, but when I was immersed in high school basketball in 2006 (watching Sherron Collins at Crane, btw), it seemed accurate.

Cy said...

That is very true, and I'm pretty sure the percentages are even worse for football. The NCAA seriously needs to address this, and with all of the money they're making off of these kids it should easily be within their financial reach to do so.

Just an idea: for every two years a "student-athlete" is on athletic scholarship, require the school to pay for an additional year of school once that player is out of eligibility or done playing. This way they are provided a safety net of sorts if a professional athletic career doesn't pan out.

Mikey K said...

not if he goes pro this year he won't get his degree.

seriously though, i think i'd drop out of school if i was offered guaranteed millions too. there are a lot of failure stories for those who leave school early, that is the truth.

sherron collins was nasty at crane.

Jeff said...

While I'm all for getting a degree, isn't the reality of college to help you gain skills so that you can receive a job upon graduation? So, if that job is waiting for you after your sophomore year and it's dependent on your body being completely healthy, you have to go. It would be absolutely ridiculous not to go. As said by Mikey, the real problem is not kids leaving to make millions; it's the ones who get suckered by agents to go pro and then get screwed. Also, these kids have no idea how to save money (except Greg Oden).

Side note (on Davidson issue): Coach McKillop said that they decided to have the ball in Curry's hands because of time. Normally, they have Curry run off screens but that takes 30-35 seconds, not 16. I'd probably agree with you about the last possession; but I took umbrage about you saying the whole 2nd half was like that.

Mikey K said...

Love that money!

here's my problem with the second half of the davidson game. i know they played the same way they did the first three games, but there has to be a point where a team says "hey, this isn't working, let's try something else." not that they had to go away from it completely, but that one point where curry's missed 5 shots in a row and rush is witnessing the inside of steph's shorts... give a shot fake and take it to the hole, at least once! i know steph is 6 3 and generously listed at 180, but that guy can make plays. i guess i just would have like to see him make a few more drives and shake his offensive options up a bit.

The Tao said...

this is the strangest comment thread I've ever read.

Did anyone see that Pat Forde referred to Cole Aldritch as Psycho C? Or maybe it was Any Katz. Either way, sometimes I wonder what level of idiocy one must aspire to in order to be a ESPN senior writer.