Monday, March 31, 2008

Candice hates meat eaters

Carnivores are just gross.

When I see people sitting around eating huge steaks dripping in bloody juices, or worse, eating pre-processed meat that was probably inhumanely slaughtered, I want to vomit on them, their food, and their offspring. How could they enjoy the taste of cooked flesh - an animal that did no harm to anyone except be born and bred to feed greedy humans. Foie gras? Poor geese are fed fat and wine in order to pump their livers so full of "flavour" that they become three times the normal size. Veal? Poor baby calves! They are so cute and little! How could you?!!? They are cute like puppies, except they're cows! You wouldn't eat a puppy, right?!

Who died and said "Hey, you humans, go ahead and exploit all the animals you see - they don't have minds and spirits of their own, anyway!" We should love all creatures great and small (cute and cuddly, and ugly ones too), not eat them because we can. Have you ever seen a meat processing plant? That knowledge alone can turn most meat eaters into vegetarians on the spot. The cruelty exhibited towards animals who have lost all sense of dignity, purpose and life at the hands of torturous murderers is more revolting than the texture of medium rare wagyu itself. Add to that the antibiotics that are added to the animal's feed to protect them from disease (which is a result of their cramped quarters and inhumane treatment to begin with), and you've got a global crisis in drug-resistant bacteria developing every day - we're all going to get SARS.

We should let all the animals be free to roam the earth as they were intended to do! Let the lions eat the cows if that is what nature intended - no matter that cows have no defence mechanisms to speak of, and that they would be butchered en masse by a bunch of hungry rabbits if it came down to it. At least it wasn't humans that did it. We could use a few fewer cows, anyway - their flatulence alone accounts for 16% of the world's greenhouse gases!

To that end, I am swearing off meat forever. The thought of a big honking bone-in rib eye, succulent pork chop or a fall-off-the-bone lamb shank sure used to make me drool, but now I just want to reversal everywhere. Maybe after having eaten it first though... cause you don't want to waste it if someone already made it... like, if it's just sitting there then my mom always taught me never to waste food, and especially not meat because it's more expensive... Anyway, yay vegans! Yay vegetarians! Yay for the raw food movement! I'm going to go eat a salad now, and it's going to be awesome.

12 comments:

Shawn said...

i'm thinking "april fools" candice not eat meat?

Jon said...

Yeah! I call shenanigans!

Cy said...

That last picture is the most delicious looking thing I've ever seen.

Mikey K said...

"I need my meat because I take a beating. If you put me up against someone who eats salad and cucumber and grilled chicken all day, I'll kill him" - Shaquille O'Neal

Candice said...

heh heh heh

Ballgame said...

That second picture is the most delicious looking thing I've ever seen.

Kathleen said...

I'm sorry, I didn't actually read most of this. Probably because I couldn't really see around the giant steak I was eating . . .

Megan Sweas said...

Candice becomes Megan! :) I guess that means I should put away my hummus and go to a Brazilian steakhouse for lunch.

Candice said...

Yeah, I think my self-imposed meat-strike ended when I ate a half pound of pastrami for lunch. It lasted from when I wrote that post last night until this morning when I ate an Egg McMuffin. Mmmm.

Matt said...

I vaguely recall accompanying you to a certain Brazilian steakhouse where you SCARFED at least 16oz of dripping , bleeding, cheese stuffed, spiced cow loin...so, shenanigans!

Jon said...

Oh and grats not even waiting an hour and a half to post it on the appropriate date.

Now it's stuck in March forever. unless you used 1 of your 10 Google Custom Times for it.

Candice said...

shaddup jon - I had to wake up at 5am the next day to catch a flight, so I didn't really feel like staying up... :)