Monday, March 24, 2008

Candice hates pleated pants

Why do guys still wear pleated pants and think it's OK? Pleated pants went out of style for women about 15 years ago - but for some reason there are still many, many men who go into a store to buy pants and say to themselves "man, those pants with the pleats - those make me look good."

Pleats make your legs look like drumsticks (of the turkey in barbecue sauce variety at the Taste of Chicago) wrapped in clown pants (or you might be MC Hammer), and manage to distract the eyes from even the most stylish of shoes, shirts and accessories (no, that bling-bling hoo-ha shiny watch doesn't make you any less of a clown-butt).

Out of pure boredom, I did a google image search for pleated pants - I'm not sure why, they look the same as they always do, but I wanted a visual reference for this blog. Instead, here are some of the things that popped up:


I wish there was a better explanation for the thunder thighs and the "thigh-band holster, to be worn under pleated pants"... but my imagination escapes me while I consider the irony that I doubt the gun manufacturer makes holsters for that lady's thighs.

I read somewhere that "pleats are not about style... they're about engineering". Well, why is it that women have somehow figured a way to, oh, re-engineer their bodies to release them of their reliance on pleats? I don't want to hear any whining argument about "oh, but what about my golf game?" either. Tiger Woods wears flat front pants, and he's married to Elin Nordegren.

If you really need accordion pants in order to feel comfortable... maybe we should bring back the overall trend of the mid-90s. Or all wear muu-muus. Bring back elastic pants!!!! Ugh.

7 comments:

Cy said...

I have one pair of pleated pants that I only wear to work. And I only pair them with shirts that I would never wear in public or at a job I even remotely cared about. I'm still waiting for someone from management to tell me to buy some real clothes. Maybe next week I'll wear a cowboy hat to get their attention.

Mikey K said...

kinsella hates flat front pants because they make his thunder thighs look huge.

Candice said...

k... then i guess you can't get a sweet gunstrap for them. sad.

Kathleen said...

I am curious about this gunstrap "to be worn under pleated pants." It seems to me that if I am ever in a situation where I need a gun, I will probably not be inclined to undo my belt and reach down my pants to get to it . . . but maybe that's just me.

Candice said...

you make a very good logistical point. it might be awkward... unless they are tear-away pleated pants, or the ones where you can rip the legs off and turn them into shorts...

Kathleen said...

Perhaps they could sell pleated pants that have some sort of button-up flap - you know, like the kind they have on little kids' onesie pajamas? Only the flap would be on your inner thigh, not your butt.

Candice said...

dude, quit your job - you seem to have found your calling...